老友记第五季第五集中英文台词：
Rachel: That's crazy! You can't do that! What're you gonna tell her? Oh, my God. Ohh, you've already agreed to this, haven't you?
太疯狂了，你才做不到，你要怎么告诉她？天啊，你已经答应了，对不对？
Ross: It's awful, I know, I- It's, I mean, I feel terrible but I have to do this if I want my marriage to work.
我知道自己很恶劣，我心情也很糟糕，但是这是挽救婚姻的唯一方法。
Ross: And I do, I-I have to make this marriage work. I have to. But the good thing is we can still see each other until she gets here.
我很希望跟她合好，必须挽救这段婚姻。好在我们在她抵达之前，还可以继续见面。
Rachel: Ohh! Ohh! Lucky me! Oh, my God! That is good news, Ross! I think that's the best news I've heardsince Le Poo died!
我真幸运！天啊，这真是好消息，自从拉普过世之后，最大的好消息！
Ross: You have no idea what a nightmare this has been. I- This is so hard.
你不知道我有多难过，我也很痛苦。
Rachel: Oh, yeah, really? Is it Ross? Yeah? Ok, well let me just make this a little easier for you.
是吗？真的吗，罗斯？我可以为你减轻压力。
Ross: What? What are you doing?
你做什么？
Rachel: I'm storming out!
愤而出走。
Ross: Rachel, this is your apartment.
瑞秋，这是你家。
Rachel: Yeah, look that's how mad I am!
你看我有多火大！
Chandler: Damn Rolos!
臭巧克力糖。
Joey: Hey, you're back! Chandler: Hey.
你回来了！嘿。
Joey: How was your conference?
这次出差如何？
Chandler: Yeah it was terrible. I fought with my colleagues you know, the entire time. Are you kidding with this?
糟透了，我跟……同事吵架，到回来前都没合好。怎么还有？
Joey: Uh, so your weekend was a total bust?
也就是整个周末都泡汤？
Chandler: Uh, no, I got to see Donald Trump waiting for an elevator.
也不会，我看到，唐纳德·川普（商人、美国2016共和党总统候选人）等电梯。
Joey: You know, at the Taj Mahal, he has his own private glass elevator. That's right. Made by Otis Elevators. Yeah. And they usually don't do glass.
他在泰姬陵有私人玻璃电梯，都由欧狄斯电梯公司生产，那家公司很少做玻璃电梯。
Chandler: What kinds of stuff do you know?
你脑袋里都装什么啊？
Monica: Hi!
嗨。
Joey: Hey, you're back too!
你也回来了。
Monica: Yeah. Umm, Chandler can I talk to you outside for just a second?
对，钱德，可以出来一下吗？
Joey: Hey, how was your chef thing?
烹饪大会好玩吗？
Monica: Oh, it was awful. I guess some people just don't appreciate really good food.
糟透了，有些人根本不会欣赏美食。
Chandler: Well, maybe it was the kind of food that tasted good at first but then made everybody vomit and have diarrhea.
你的食物可能看起来很美味，吃下去却害人上吐下泻。
Monica: Chandler?
钱德。
Chandler: Monica.
莫妮卡。
Monica: Ok, I'd like to know how much the room was 'cause I wanna pay my half.
旅馆费用多少？我要付我那一半。
Chandler: Ok, fine, $300.
很好，300元。
Monica: 300 dollars?
300元？
Chandler: Yeah, just think of it as $25 per room!
就想成每间25元！
Monica: Urghh!
啊！
Joey: What are you guys woofing about?
你们鬼叫什么？
Monica: Chandler stole a twenty from my purse!
钱德从我皮包偷了20元！
Joey: Nooooo! !
不会吧！
Chandler: I was only stealing it back, the one that she stole from me.
因为莫妮卡先偷我的钱，我只是拿回来。
Monica: Stealing and now, lying.
这人不但是小偷还说谎。
Joey: You know what? Now that I think about it, I constantly find myself without twenties and you, always have lots!
现在回头想想，我老是没有20元，你皮夹里倒是很多。
Ross: You should've seen the look on her face. God I don't want Rachel to hate me! I don't know what to do.
你们应该看看她当时的表情，我不希望瑞秋恨我，真不知道该怎么办。
Joey: You want my advice?
你要听我的建议吗？
Ross: Yes! Please!
请说！
Joey: You're not gonna like it.
你听了一定不高兴。
Ross: That's ok.
没关系。
Joey: You got married too fast.
你决定结婚太匆促了。
Ross: That's not advice!
这算哪们子忠告？
Joey: I told you.
看吧。
Ross: Going to bathroom.
我去洗手间。
Joey: Man, if anyone asked me to give up any of you, I don't think I could do it.
要有人叫我别见你们其中一个，我绝对办不到。
Chandler and Phoebe: Yeah, me either.
我也不行。
Monica: Maybe I could do it.
或许我可以。
Rachel: Hi!
嗨！
Joey: Hi, Rach.
嗨，瑞秋。
Rachel: Look, I know you guys heard about the whole thing with me and Ross but you know, I've been obsessing about it all day and I would just love not to talk about it. All right?
我知道你们听说，罗斯跟我的事情了，我已经烦了一整天，请你们别再提起了。
Joey: I-I-I don't know if this falls under this category, but uh, Ross is right back there.
我不知道这算不算提起，不过罗斯就在后面。
Rachel: That's not Ross!
那才不是罗斯。
Phoebe: Oh no! Not that guy! He does look like him though.
不是那个，虽然很像。
Chandler: Ok, Ross is in the bathroom.
罗斯去洗手间了。
Rachel: Oh, my God, it's happening. It's already started. I- I'm Kip.
天啊，开始了，现在就这样，我就像阿吉。
Joey: Hey, you're not Kip!
你才不是阿吉！
Rachel: Do you even know who Kip is?
你知道阿吉是谁吗？
Joey: Who cares? You're Rachel! Who's Kip?
谁管他？你是瑞秋。阿吉是谁？
Chandler: Kip, my old roommate, you know we all used to hang out together.
我以前的室友，以前也跟大家很好。
Joey: Oh, that poor bastard.
那个可怜人。
Rachel: See? Yeah, you told me the story.
看吧？你们跟我说过那件事。
Rachel: He and Monica dated when they broke up they couldn't even be in the same room together and you all promised you would stay his friend and what happened? He got phased out!
他以前跟莫妮卡约会分手后，你们都答应继续跟他当朋友，结果呢？他从此遭到排挤！
Monica: You're not gonna be phased out!
我们才不会排挤你！
Rachel: Well, of course I am! It's not gonna happen to Ross! He's your brother. He's your old college roommate.
一定会，罗斯一定可以留下来，因为他是你哥哥。他又是你大学室友。
Phoebe: Kip didn't even have to be Kip. We just, we handled that all wrong. It was a long time ago.
阿吉也不该受到这样的待遇，我们以前处理得很糟糕。况且那是很久以前的事情。
Joey: Yeah, Rach. And it was before you and me were around. They didn't know what they were doing. Chandler had a mustache for crying out loud.
对啊，瑞秋，当时我跟你还没出现。他们根本不知道自己在做什么，钱德还留着小胡子哩。
Rachel: Oh, you know, it was just a matter of time before someone had to leave the group. I just always assumed Phoebe would be the one to go.
迟早有人会离开这个小圈圈，我以前还以为走的是菲比。
Phoebe: Ehh!
啊？
Rachel: Honey, come on! You live far away! You're not related. You lift right out.
亲爱的，拜托，你住得远，又不是谁的亲戚。很快就会被淡忘。
Chandler: Hey!
嗨！
Joey: Hey, Mr. Bing. That uh, hotel you stayed at called. Said someone left an eyelash curler in your room.
嗨，宾先生。你住的饭店打电话来，说在你房间捡到睫毛夹。
Chandler: Yes that was mine.
是我的。
Joey: 'Cause I figured you hooked up with some girl and she left it there.
我以为你遇上一个女孩，她忘了带走。
Chandler: Yes that would've made more sense.
这种说法的确比较合理。
Joey: You know, I-I don't even feel like I know you anymore man!
我都快要不认识你了。
Joey: All right, look, I'm just gonna ask you this one time, all right? And whatever you say, I'll believe you. Were you, or were you not, on a gay cruise?
我只问你一次就好。无论你怎么说，我都相信你。你是不是去参加同性恋大会？
Rachel: Phoebe? I'm sorry about the whole lifting out thing. You gotta come with me!
菲比？我不该说大家会淡忘你，你得跟着我！
Phoebe: Come where?
去哪里？
Rachel: Wherever I go. Come on you and me, we'll-we'll start a new group, we're the best ones.
跟着我就对了，我们可以重组一个团体，毕竟我跟你才是最棒的。
Phoebe: Ok, but try to get Joey too.
好吧，不过记得拉乔伊入伙。
Ross: Pheebs, you mind if I speak to Rachel alone for a sec?
菲比，我可以跟瑞秋，私下谈谈吗？
Phoebe: Oh, sure! Yeah.
当然。
Phoebe: Bye Ross! Forever.
再见，罗斯。永远不见了。
Ross: Hi. Rachel: Hi.
嗨。嘿。
Rachel: What're you doing here? Isn't this against the rules?
你来做什么？这不是违反规定？
Ross: I talked to Monica. Look, I'm the one who made the choice. I'm the one who's making things change,so I should be the one to you know, step back.
我跟莫妮卡谈过，是我做这个选择。我害大家必须要改变，所以离开的应该是我。
Rachel: Oh, Ross...Ross: No, no, it's ok. Really.
罗斯…… 真的没关系。
Ross: There're plenty of people who just see their sisters at Thanksgiving and just see their college roommates at reunions and, just see Joey at Burger King. So is, is that better?
很多人只有在感恩节见到妹妹，同学会才见到大学室友，在“汉堡王”才见到乔伊。这样你舒服一点了吗？
Rachel: No, it's not better. I still don't get to see you.
一点也没有。我还是见不到你。
Ross: Well, what-what would you do? Rach, if you were me, what-what would you do?
瑞秋，换做你会怎么办？
Rachel: Well, for starters I would've said the right name at my wedding!
首先，我在婚礼上，就不会说错名字！
Ross: I can't believe this is happening.
竟然得走到这一步。
Rachel: I know.
我知道。
Ross: I am so sorry.
我很抱歉。
Rachel: I know that too.
我也知道。
Joey: Hey, Rach? Sorry to interrupt but umm, Phoebe said you wanted to talk to me about a trip or something.
瑞秋，抱歉打扰，菲比说我们要去哪里。
Chandler: Hey!
嘿。
Monica: Hi.
嗨。
Chandler: I just came over to drop off...nothing. So that weekend kinda sucked, huh?
我来拿……没事，上周末过得很糟。
Monica: Yeah, it did.
没错。
Chandler: So, I guess this is over.
那大概结束了。
Monica: What?
什么？
Chandler: Well, you know, you and me, I mean it had to end sometime.
我说你跟我啦，反正迟早得结束。
Monica: Why, exactly?
为什么？
Chandler: Because of the weekend, we had a fight.
因为我们上周末吵架啊。
Monica: Chandler that's crazy! If you give up every time you've a fight with someone you'd never be withanyone longer than- Ohhh!
钱德，别傻了，如果你每次吵架就分手，交往大概不会超过……明白了！
Chandler: So, this isn't over?
所以我们还可以继续？
Monica: You are so cute! No. No, it was a fight. You deal with it, you move on! It's nothing to freak out about.
你真可爱，当然，我们只是吵架。吵过之后就算了，根本没什么好害怕。
Chandler: Really? Ok. Great!
真的？太好了。
Monica: Ohh, welcome to an adult relationship!
欢迎加入成熟恋人行列。
Chandler: We're in a relationship?
我们算是男女朋友？
Monica: I'm afraid so.
恐怕是。
Chandler: Ok.
好吧。
Phoebe: Hey!
嘿！
Monica: Hey!
嗨！
Phoebe: Oh hey, Monica, I heard you saw Donald Trump at your convention.
莫妮卡，听说你上周的会议看到唐纳德·川普。
Monica: Yeah, I saw him waiting for an elevator.
对，我看到他在等电梯。
Monica: Hey, Rach, can I borrow your eyelash curler, I think I lost mine.
瑞秋，借我睫毛夹，我的不见了。
Rachel: Yeah, it's in the bath.
好啊，在厕所。
Joey: Oh! Ohh! Oh!
噢噢哦！
Chandler: Joey, can I talk to you for a second?
乔伊，过来一下。
Joey: Oohh! Ohh! Oh-oh-oh! Oh-oh! Ohhhhhhhhhhh! !!
噢噢噢噢噢！
Chandler: Yes. Yes.
没错。
Joey: You? ! And-and you? !
你？跟你？
Monica: Yes, but you cannot tell anyone! No one knows!
对，但是你不能告诉别人，还没人知道。
Joey: How? ! When? !
怎么会？何时？
Chandler: It happened in London.
在伦敦发生的。
Joey: In London!!
伦敦！
Chandler: The reason we didn't tell anyone was 'cause we didn't wanna make a big deal out of it.
我们之所以没告诉大家，是不想你们大惊小怪。
Joey: But it is a big deal! I have to tell someone!
这的确是大事，我非告诉谁不可。
Chandler: No-no-no-no-no! You can't!
不行……你不能说。
Monica: Please. Now, I know this is hard.
求你了，我知道这很痛苦。
Joey: It is. It hurts.
没错，痛苦死了。
Monica: We know. Please? Please? ! We just don't wanna deal with telling everyone, ok? Ple- Just promiseyou won't tell.
拜托你，我们就是不想面对大家质问，求求你保证不说。
Joey: All right! Man, this is unbelievable! I mean, it's great, but...
好吧，不可思议！这是件好事，可是……
Monica: I know, it's great!
我知道，的确很棒！
Joey: Aww, I don't wanna see that!
我可不想看到这一幕！
Phoebe: We're so stupid! Do you know what's going on in there? They're trying to take Joey!
我们真是太蠢了，你知道他们在做什么吗？他们想抢走乔伊！
Phoebe: The most popular Phoebe in tennis is called the overhand Phoebe. And if you win, you must slap your opponent on the Phoebe and say, "Hi, Phoebe!"
网球界最有名的菲比，就叫做杀球菲比。赢了就得跟对方击掌，说“嗨，菲比”。
Monica: Oh that's cute! We really all enjoyed it. But you know, it doesn't count.
真有意思，很好玩，但是这不算。
Phoebe: Count for what?
不算什么？
Monica: Just, count in our heads as-as good Mad Libs.
这可不算疯狂猜谜。
Joey: I guess I'm done.
我不想玩了。
Chandler: Fun's over!
不好玩了！
Monica: Wait-wait, guys! If-if we follow the rules, it's still fun and it means something!
等等，要遵守规则才有意思也才有意义啊！
Joey: See ya.
看。
Chandler: I'm gonna take off.
我要走了。
Monica: Guys, rules are good! Rules help control the fun! Ohhh!伙计们！规则很棒很有意思的！喔！
